In previous years, the InventCalendar (see post dated January 1, 2016) has served both as a way to jumpstart my creativity and acted as visual drum roll for my birthday at the month’s end. This year, however, the zing was missing. I found myself behind when in the past I was eager. I felt obliged when in the past I’d been engaged. When I reviewed the images, the month appeared colorful and celebratory. Visiting friends enriched my weekends, food nourished my body, ocean air cleared out the brain, dancing enlivened at least one of my evenings, and art emerged from my visions.
But I must admit that in the midst of my gratitude I experienced the ever-present struggle to stay in the present. And, for me, it was not a child’s giddy anticipation for that next moment to come, it was more like the craggy anxiety of adult whose made it this far, but is uncertain about the challenges ahead.
So for my birthday this year, my wish was not to always be in the present, as laudable a goal as it might be. Instead, I decided I’d like to rediscover the spark of expectation that used to take hold of me as a child, when I couldn’t wait to open my presents, couldn’t wait to jump in the pool, and couldn’t wait to taste that lovely frosted cake.